Ways I won’t spend money on useless shit when I am sad

For you numbers folks out there, try and figure this riddle out (this has nothing to do with the post, but something I thought about early this morning during my walk with Badger).

Anything of significance that has happened in the past three years has been on the 17th or 18th. My evidence:

  1. Bought home: January 17, 2014
  2. Emily’s birthday: April 17, 2015
  3. Lindsey started new job: April 18, 2016
  4. Dad passed away: October 18, 2016

Not sure what’s going on here, but it seems like all of our major life stuff happens on these two days. It’s interesting that I am writing this particular post, 90 days since my dad passed. What is with these two numbers?! Do you have a lucky/unlucky number that keeps popping up?

Anyways, back to the post.

Thank you all for your feedback about our last post. Grief affects us in different ways and it’s re-assuring to know that many of you also turn to money to help heal. As promised, I am going to write a list of things for me to do, instead of spending money, when I am feeling sad. It will probably require some help from you, my dear readers, to help me through those tempting times.

So, without further ado, my list:

  1. Go for a walk: Sure, this sounds boring and practical, but I have a Fitbit and often compete with co-workers for the most steps. Since I am a stubborn and competitive gal, I can get my ass outside and dream about living in a place where wind chill doesn’t exist. If you have a Fitbit and want to engage in friendly competition, send me an invite and let’s walk!

 

  1. Tell Tolga I want to go shopping: I guess he can be my anti-spending buddy?! Nothing says ‘don’t spend money’ like your spouse lovingly guilt you out of using your Visa. I guess this means we actually have to sit down and talk like normal people. (For those who suck with sarcasm – this is sarcastic. We do talk. Sometimes. Just kidding. Or am I??)

 

  1. Message a friend: Same as point number two, but without the spouse thing. So, if you get a random text/phone call/Facebook message from me, this is me trying to distract myself from spending money.

 

  1. Take my toddler to the mall: Nothing says, “get me the f**k out of this mall” like a two year old who refuses to sit in her stroller and demands to walk at a glacier pace. All the while, she/we are stopping every two seconds to examine; gum on the floor, her belly button, my belly button, security monitors at the entrance of a store, pulling shirts off a shelf, etc, etc etc.

 

  1. Write about it for the blog: There may be some short, disjointed posts coming down the pipe. That is me, simply distracting myself from spending money. Nothing says accountability like posting your personal shit all over the internet.

 

  1. Ask my therapist for some ideas: Mental health and grief go hand-in-hand. I have been seeing a therapist for a while, and have increased my visits since dads passing. With this, I can continue to write (privately) about some of these darker and sadder moments.

 

  1. Acknowledge that I am sad, and that is okay: This may mean spontaneous crying or bouts of anger. I need to stop before I do an emotion-based purchase and thing about why I’m spending money. Tolga and I have some lofty goals for 2017, and I need to think about how my spending is going to help or hinder those goals.

What about you? When you’re sad, and you want to fall to your vice, how do you distract/deal with that? Would love to hear your ideas. We all have our moments and we just need to remember to be kind to ourselves and one another.

2 thoughts on “Ways I won’t spend money on useless shit when I am sad

  1. Thanks for sharing Linny. I totally get that shopping will fix my issues urge. Ironically, for me that urge gets even stronger when money is tight. I hate being told I can’t do something so when cash is tight and I’m trying not to shop it’s like the urge becomes overwhelming. I’m so argumentative I’ll even rebel against myself! Crazy.
    Tracy and I have made a budget for the year which is posted on a huge nerdy whiteboard in our basement. We’ve set goals for paying off debt and have agreed when we do that we can use all our debt paying money for something we really want – a Disney vacation club purchase. I write out each months budget nice and big and look at it all the time and just keep our goals in mind. It’s like a chant. Debt free and DVC. We talk about it constantly to keep us both on track and accountable.
    It’s hard to ignore that call for immediate satisfaction but we all know it doesn’t really fill the void. The best way you can honour your Dad is to live the very best possible life and be as happy (true happiness) and secure as possible. You know that’s all he’d want for you.

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    1. Hey Chris! SO sorry for the late response. That’s so great you and Tracy are so on the ball with your money. What you’re doing is called the snowball effect. When you pay down one debt, you snowball that payment into more debt repayment until its all paid off. Just remember to pay off the debt that has the highest interest rate! Lol your motto is awesome! Sounds like you and Tracy have a good plan! Hope you’re both doing well.

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