For you numbers folks out there, try and figure this riddle out (this has nothing to do with the post, but something I thought about early this morning during my walk with Badger).
Anything of significance that has happened in the past three years has been on the 17th or 18th. My evidence:
- Bought home: January 17, 2014
- Emily’s birthday: April 17, 2015
- Lindsey started new job: April 18, 2016
- Dad passed away: October 18, 2016
Not sure what’s going on here, but it seems like all of our major life stuff happens on these two days. It’s interesting that I am writing this particular post, 90 days since my dad passed. What is with these two numbers?! Do you have a lucky/unlucky number that keeps popping up?
Anyways, back to the post.
Thank you all for your feedback about our last post. Grief affects us in different ways and it’s re-assuring to know that many of you also turn to money to help heal. As promised, I am going to write a list of things for me to do, instead of spending money, when I am feeling sad. It will probably require some help from you, my dear readers, to help me through those tempting times.
So, without further ado, my list:
- Go for a walk: Sure, this sounds boring and practical, but I have a Fitbit and often compete with co-workers for the most steps. Since I am a stubborn and competitive gal, I can get my ass outside and dream about living in a place where wind chill doesn’t exist. If you have a Fitbit and want to engage in friendly competition, send me an invite and let’s walk!
- Tell Tolga I want to go shopping: I guess he can be my anti-spending buddy?! Nothing says ‘don’t spend money’ like your spouse lovingly guilt you out of using your Visa. I guess this means we actually have to sit down and talk like normal people. (For those who suck with sarcasm – this is sarcastic. We do talk. Sometimes. Just kidding. Or am I??)
- Message a friend: Same as point number two, but without the spouse thing. So, if you get a random text/phone call/Facebook message from me, this is me trying to distract myself from spending money.
- Take my toddler to the mall: Nothing says, “get me the f**k out of this mall” like a two year old who refuses to sit in her stroller and demands to walk at a glacier pace. All the while, she/we are stopping every two seconds to examine; gum on the floor, her belly button, my belly button, security monitors at the entrance of a store, pulling shirts off a shelf, etc, etc etc.
- Write about it for the blog: There may be some short, disjointed posts coming down the pipe. That is me, simply distracting myself from spending money. Nothing says accountability like posting your personal shit all over the internet.
- Ask my therapist for some ideas: Mental health and grief go hand-in-hand. I have been seeing a therapist for a while, and have increased my visits since dads passing. With this, I can continue to write (privately) about some of these darker and sadder moments.
- Acknowledge that I am sad, and that is okay: This may mean spontaneous crying or bouts of anger. I need to stop before I do an emotion-based purchase and thing about why I’m spending money. Tolga and I have some lofty goals for 2017, and I need to think about how my spending is going to help or hinder those goals.
What about you? When you’re sad, and you want to fall to your vice, how do you distract/deal with that? Would love to hear your ideas. We all have our moments and we just need to remember to be kind to ourselves and one another.